Who Needs A Retriever When You Have An 8 Year Old?

Its been long family tradition, that before you’re allowed to carry a gun in the field, you have to pay your dues doing dog duty. As a young kid, I was called up on my first retrieving job during a dove hunt in southern Ohio. The Old Man’s recollection of my first retrieve was his son running out into the field, picking up a dove, spreading its wings, and repeatedly throwing it back up into the air.


"What in the hell are you doing, boy?" he asked.
"I just wanted to see if it would fly." I replied.
The Old Man shook his head,
"...It's dead, son... get back over here."



I'm sure a lot of parents have asked that question of their
children.




A large part of growing up is testing the laws that govern the natural world and ultimately learning that T.V is not real and that movies have something called “special effects”. It is a harsh reality discovering that no matter how many times you jump off your swing set with a cape, you won‘t fly. So in my 8 year old capacity for aeronautics, I reasoned birds have wings and so do paper airplanes. You get the right toss on a paper airplane and that thing will fly for miles. Wings are wings, right? But after that first retrieve I learned valuable lesson: All wings aren‘t wings, and dead birds don‘t fly.

During the Old Man’s Birthday duck hunt at Wintergreen, I witnessed my 8 year old nephew continue in the family tradition. And after I saw him pick up his first duck, I knew exactly what was going through his head,

 “How in the world does this thing fly?”


But before he could start putting some mechanics together, we had ducks coming over the tree line.

“Hey! Get back over here!” My brother shouted.
"Its tongue is hanging out its mouth!"
he exclaimed.
"...Its dead, son.. get back in the blind, we still have ducks coming in." My brother replied.

We had decided that we were only going to shoot drake mallards, wings cupped, feet down. Part of the thrill of duck hunting is being able to fool a duck into wanting to set down right in your lap. And when you see 500-1000 ducks during a hunt, you have the luxury of picking your shots. Its also important when training a new retriever to knock the birds down right in front of you so he gets a good mark on the bird.

Three ducks came over the tree line and circled our blind. On their final approach, a hen sandwiched between two drakes sat suspended in the air 10 feet over our decoys. The stuttering “ba-BAM!” of two almost simultaneous shots echoed through the blind as her two escorts fell on the water.

“Can I go get those??” My nephew eagerly asked.

“Wait, there’s still ducks working, you just worry about calling out drakes.” My brother answered.

Three hens caught us off guard and set down right in front of us. As we relaxed, a drake buzzed our blind. If you’ve ever wondered what goes through your duck dog’s head when you pass on a shot, my nephew voiced it perfectly.

The hardest part of his retriever training was trying to hold back his enthusiasm and keep him quiet in the blind, not unlike most duck-crazed labs.

A dozen drakes later, we called it quits and took the customary “put-all-your-dead-ducks-in-the-back-of-your-truck” picture.

My brother and I did the most calling, my nephew did the retrieving, and the Old Man did most of the shooting.


Authors Note:  If you need a 3 1/2 inch shell to put down a duck, you're not doing it right. And if you're wondering where those two big front teeth came from,  I found it.