The 5 Essential Guide Gear Items
The most successful guides are the ones who are the most self-reliant. If there is a possibility for an “Oh @W#%” moment, there is a plan, and more importantly, a box that contains all the items and tools necessary to overcome that obstacle. Those boxes are built from about 20% foresight and 80% first hand experience of being unprepared, stuck on the water and looking like an idiot. But a for guide, sometimes the most epic days of fishing or hunting start and end with the smallest of obstacles. Obstacles that most people take for granted, such as waking up on time or bathing. Most guides have little boxes for those situations too. Here‘s what I put in mine.
1. A Reliable Alarm Clock
Cell phones and water don’t mix, no matter how much rice you cover it in. If your day on the water, or in the field, with a guide starts at 8 a.m., your guide starts his day at 5 a.m. prepping lunches, packing coolers, and doing last minute checks on water, weather and gear. Personally, I’m a snoozer. I know I have three 5 minute snoozes before my alarm clock decides, “That’s it. If you’re still asleep, I’m not gonna waste my time and try to wake you up.” That’s where a cell phone hidden under the bed, or still stuffed in a pant pocket comes in handy. Redundancy. It works. It’s the same principle behind nuclear launch codes.
2. Good Coffee
The real reason your guide has so much enthusiasm so early in the morning. I don’t always have the luxury of electricity, or even a drive-thru coffee shop, so I pack accordingly. Even in the most dire situations, I’m prepared with a jet boil, hand cranked bean grinder, a press and some good beans.
3. First Aid Kit
Selfishly, my first aid kit is loaded because I use it more on myself than others in emergency situations. Most kits are pretty basic; Gauze, Band-Aids, Triple Antibiotic Cream, etc,. Here are a few custom additions I always add.
Nyquil: Not only does it work for the tough cold symptoms of Winter Olympians, it makes a great sleep aid without inducing a hangover.
Tums: Guide diets aren’t the always based on the healthiest of options, but more so, the one requiring the least amount of effort. I once ate pizza for every meal for 48 hours. The Tums helped. Plus, I prefer my calcium in pastey, chalk form.
Advil/Ibprofen: Good old vitamin A. Always be prepared for a case of the I-B-Brokens.
4. Flip Flops
AKA flops, Lord Boards, Jesus Sandals, Slappies, call them whatever you’d like, but spending weeks or months in boots and wading sandals does funny things to the bottom of your feet. You can always tell how many days a guide has been on the water, based on the pruney, morgue-like appearance of his feet. At the end of a day, it's nice to put on a pair of dry flops to air out your feet.
5. Hygiene Kit
There are certain inherit, occupational hygiene hazards of spending days upon days rowing down a river or hiking up and down hills chasing birds. These include long hair, unkempt facial hair, itchy rear end and sweat stained hats, just to name a few. Of course, a good hot shower will solve most of these symptoms. But not all guides have access to this when they are living out of the back of their truck on the Missouri, or on a week long backcountry trip. Here are a few simple cover-ups and cures for maintaining, or giving the illusion of, a professional appearance.
Listerine: The Pine-Sol of oral hygiene. Whether you actually cleaned your teeth or not, at least it smells like you did.
Foot Powder: There’s nothing like realizing that weird smell in the room is actually emanating from your feet. Thank you, Dr. Scholls.
Moist Towelettes: They do a great job of cleaning the lenses of your sunglasses and cleaning up after a shore lunch, which is the professional reason a guide carries so many of them. But in a pinch, they save you from the embarrassment of coming back to the boat or truck without a sock, or missing half of a sleeve.
Dr. Bronners: One of the telltale signs of a freshly showered individual is wet hair. Wet hair requires water. Fortunately, fishing guides spend most of their day floating on this substance. A good head dunk at the boat ramp, or a cupful of cooler water, and a little soap, go a long way fifteen minutes before you clients show up. Plus, Dr. Bonners is a 100% biodegradable soap.
Deodorant: Usually the final step in the daily ritual of a shower. The beauty of this step, if done correctly, is that it implies that you didn’t actually sleep in the back of your truck next to your dog.
